Opening the Conversation About Grief and Loss
Grief and loss are experiences that will knock on our doors at various points throughout our lives. It can be an uncomfortable topic for those who have not experienced death or significant loss. We want to open the conversation about grief and loss by providing insight into types of grief, how it impacts our well-being, and tips on how to help you or a loved one navigate the process.
Types of Grief
Grief is a common response experienced by those who have endured loss. A misconception is that grief is only activated through death. However, there are many other scenarios where grief presents itself, such as the loss of a job, a miscarriage, financial loss, severe illness or health concerns, a breakup or divorce, or the loss of a friendship. Disenfranchised grief is grief that is not recognized or accepted publicly, igniting loneliness and shame for the person experiencing it. Types of disenfranchised grief can include the death of a pet, the death of an abusive parent, a mental illness, or infertility.
Whichever form of grief you or a loved one is experiencing, it is a personal journey with unique emotions, thoughts, and symptoms. You might cycle through some or all the stages of grief, including denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance. Remembering that there is no right or wrong way to grieve is essential. It can be a complicated and devastating process that is hard to conceptualize into words. Time is vital in these moments as the healing process can be extensive and nonlinear, bringing daily challenges. The emotions you feel while experiencing grief are important to validate throughout the process.
How Grief Impacts our Well-Being
Grief can impact our mental, physical, and spiritual well-being in many ways, including:
Difficulty eating, fatigue, or insomnia
Loss of memory, motivation, or focus
Sadness, irritability, or anger
Loneliness, guilt, powerlessness
Headaches or nausea
A desire to distract and keep busy
Existential questions surrounding the meaning of life or searching for a higher power
Ruminating thoughts focused on the past or fear of the future
If you find yourself experiencing symptoms that are difficult to tolerate, consider reaching out for professional help to guide you through this process and build skills to process complicated or prolonged symptoms impacting your life.
Tips for Helping you or a Loved One Through the Grief Process
Recognize that each experience with grief is different. It is crucial to validate the thoughts and feelings of you or a loved one with compassion and understanding.
Provide examples of how to support you or a loved one during this difficult time, such as going for walks, bringing meals, or talking about grief. This will depend on the relationship and differ for each person.
Use self-care strategies to improve your mental, physical, and spiritual health. This could include exercising, journaling, meditation, counselling, or spiritual rituals.
Avoid advising how to feel during the grief process, as it can ignite shame and judgment in difficult times. Instead, sit with your loved ones' thoughts and feelings and reaffirm that they are where they need to be. If you are experiencing grief, be open to feeling your emotions.
Be cautious of triggers such as anniversaries, events, or holidays that might bring forth overwhelming emotions. Talking about it with a trusted loved one or planning an outing are ways to honour the grief you are experiencing.
While grief is a natural part of life, it can be challenging and uncomfortable. The person experiencing the grief is the expert, so if you are unsure how to support them during this time, it is critical to ask what they need to feel loved and supported. Opening this conversation will allow them to feel less alone and help break the stigma surrounding grief.
Changing Tides Counselling has many therapists to help those who have experienced grief and loss. They will provide you with a safe and non-judgmental space to acknowledge, validate, and manage your uniquely personal situation. Book a free consultation HERE to learn more about grief counselling and therapists that best fit your needs.
References
Angood, P. B. (2023). Grief, grieving, and grievance - Growth to move forward. Physician Leadership Journal, 10(4), 6–8. https://doi.org/10.55834/plj.5358173944
American Psychological Association. (2020, January 1). Grief: Coping with the loss of your loved one. Retrieved October 2, 2023 from https://www.apa.org/topics/families/grief
Family Health Psychiatric and Counseling Centre. Disenfranchised grief. Retrieved October 2, 2023 from https://www.fhpcc.com/disenfranchised-grief
John Hopkins Medicine. (n.d.). Grief and loss. Retrieved October 2, 2023 from https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/caregiving/grief-and-loss
Smith, M., Robinson, L., & Segal, J. (2023, June 20). Coping with grief and loss. HelpGuide.org. Retrieved October 2, 2023 from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. (n.d.). Coping with loss and grief. Retrieved October 2, 2023 from https://www.camh.ca/en/camh-news-and-stories/coping-with-loss-and-grief