Coping With Stress Over the Holidays: How to Protect Your Well-Being When Life Gets Busy
The holiday season is often described as a time of joy, connection, and celebration—but for many people, it’s also a period filled with pressure, expectations, financial strain, family dynamics, and emotional overwhelm. At Changing Tides Counselling, we often hear clients say they feel guilty for not enjoying the holidays more, or frustrated that this season feels heavier than it “should.” The truth is: holiday stress is extremely common. And you’re not doing anything wrong if this time of year feels complicated.
Holidays bring together routines, relationships, memories, and responsibilities in a way that can easily overwhelm our nervous system. Whether you’re navigating grief, busy schedules, co-parenting, perfectionism, or the pressure to “make everything magical,” stress can creep in before you even realize it.
The good news? There are real, practical ways to support your mental health and create more ease, balance, and presence during the holidays. This blog post will guide you through the psychology of holiday stress, why it affects us the way it does, and evidence-based tools you can begin using today.
Why the Holidays Increase Stress: Understanding the Emotional Load
Holiday stress doesn’t come out of nowhere. It usually builds from a combination of internal and external stressors:
1. Disrupted Routines: Regular sleep, meals, exercise, and downtime often get replaced with travel, events, late nights, and a packed to-do list. Our nervous system thrives on predictability; when routine disappears, stress rises.
2. Family Dynamics: Old patterns can be activated quickly—roles we fall back into, unresolved conflicts, or challenging communication styles. Even in loving families, long-standing dynamics can make gatherings emotionally draining.
3. Financial Pressure: Gift-giving, travel, hosting, and events add up. The pressure to spend can trigger anxiety, shame, or comparison.
4. Grief and Loss: If you’ve lost someone, holidays can amplify their absence. Even years later, traditions and memories can bring up complex emotions.
5. Perfectionism & Social Pressure: Instagram-perfect holidays, family expectations, and the belief that you must “make it magical” can lead to burnout. Many people feel responsible for everyone else’s happiness.
6. Increased Social Obligations: More events, more people, more sensory input. For introverts, neurodivergent individuals, anxious folks, or people balancing caregiving, this can be overwhelming.
Understanding these sources of stress is the first step toward easing them. Awareness creates choice—and from choice comes change.
How Stress Affects the Body During the Holidays
Your body is constantly scanning for threat. When the brain perceives pressure—time pressure, emotional pressure, financial pressure—it activates the stress response:
Heart rate increases
Breathing becomes shallow
Muscles tighten
Irritability rises
Focus decreases
The body shifts into “survival mode”
When this happens repeatedly (as it often does throughout December), we may feel:
Exhausted
Overstimulated
On edge
Easily frustrated
Numb or disconnected
More prone to conflict
Understanding this physiological shift helps us respond with compassion rather than self-criticism. Stress isn’t a personal failure—it’s a nervous system reaction.
10 Practical Tools for Coping With Holiday Stress
Below are evidence-informed, therapist-approved skills that you can use immediately—simple enough to apply in real time, powerful enough to create a sense of steadiness.
1. Use the “Rule of 3”: Pick Only Three Priorities Each Day
Instead of tackling everything at once, choose three meaningful, doable priorities.
For example:
Wrap three gifts
Respond to the most important email
Take a 15-minute walk
This prevents overwhelm and helps you move through tasks with clarity rather than frenzy.
2. Create a “Bare Minimum” Plan for Well-Being
When life gets busy, aim for the minimum version of well-being—not perfection.
Your bare-minimum plan might include:
Drinking water
One nourishing meal
Going to bed at a consistent time
10 minutes of fresh air
One moment of stillness
Small supports add up. During stressful weeks, getting-through-the-day wins over perfection every time.
3. Practice Boundary Statements Before You Need Them
Boundaries reduce resentment, burnout, and people-pleasing. Preparing your words ahead of time makes them easier to use in the moment.
Here are some therapist-crafted scripts:
“We won’t be able to stay long, but we’re excited to stop by.”
“That doesn’t work for us this year, but thank you for thinking of us.”
“I’m focusing on keeping things simple this holiday, so I’m saying no to extra commitments.”
“Let’s change the subject.” (for conversations you don’t want to engage in)
Boundaries protect your energy—and your peace.
4. Try the 4-7-8 Breathing Technique (Nervous System Reset)
A quick and effective grounding tool:
Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds
Hold for 7 seconds
Exhale slowly for 8 seconds
Repeat 3–5 times.
This type of breath signals to the brain: We’re safe. Stress softens almost instantly.
5. Use Sensory Grounding (5-4-3-2-1)
When overwhelmed at a gathering, overwhelmed in a store, or stuck in your head:
5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
This anchors you back into your body and out of spiraling thoughts.
6. Limit Comparison — Especially Online
Holiday comparison is a powerful stressor. Remember:
Photos are curated
Traditions vary between families
“Perfect” online moments often have messy reality behind them
If social media is fuelling pressure, try:
A 24-hour break
Unfollowing accounts that trigger comparison
Muting holiday content temporarily
You deserve a holiday that feels good—not one that looks good for others.
7. Identify Your Emotional Triggers Before Events
Ask yourself:
What situations typically drain me?
Who do I feel tense around?
What expectations feel heavy?
What memories come up for me?
When you know what’s likely to activate you, you can plan supports (breaks, boundaries, grounding skills, shorter visits).
8. Make a “Calming Menu” for Quick Regulation
Create a list of small activities that help regulate your nervous system. Examples:
Step outside for fresh air
Sit in your car for quiet
Sip something warm
Stretch your neck and shoulders
Listen to calming music
Do a quick mindfulness exercise
Text someone who feels safe
Keep this list in your phone. When stress rises, you don’t need to think, you just choose.
9. Give Yourself Permission to Rest
Rest is not laziness. Rest is not avoidance. Rest is a biological need … read that again!
Some people push themselves because they believe: “I’ll relax when everything is done.” But everything is never done.
Try reframing rest as:
A way to prevent burnout
A tool for emotional regulation
A way to stay connected and present
An act of kindness toward yourself
Even 10 minutes of rest can shift your entire evening.
10. Reimagine Traditions Instead of Forcing Them
If old traditions feel heavy, emotionally loaded, or unrealistic, you’re allowed to change them.
You might:
Shorten gatherings
Host something low-key
Do store-bought instead of homemade
Celebrate on a different day
Skip activities that don’t bring joy
Start new traditions that reflect your current life
Your holidays don’t need to match past versions of yourself. They can evolve with your needs.
What to Do If Holiday Stress Turns Into Overwhelm
If you notice:
Persistent irritability
Sleep difficulties
Feelings of dread
Emotional withdrawal
Increased conflict
Difficulty coping
Worsening anxiety or depression
A sense of being “on edge” or “checked out”
… it may be a sign your stress has moved beyond what you can manage alone.
Therapy can help you understand your patterns, regulate your nervous system, and move through the holiday season with more ease and support. At Changing Tides Counselling, we create a safe, compassionate space to talk about holiday stress, family dynamics, boundaries, overwhelm, grief, and anything else you may be carrying. You don’t have to hold it all alone.
You Deserve a Holiday Season That Supports Your Well-Being
The holidays don’t have to be perfect. They don’t have to match what everyone else is doing. You are allowed to shape a season that honours your mental health, your energy, your values, and your capacity.
Remember:
You’re allowed to slow down.
You’re allowed to do things differently.
You’re allowed to protect your peace.
You’re allowed to rest without guilt.
You’re allowed to choose what feels nourishing, not just what feels expected.
Changing Tides Counselling is here to support you through every season—especially the ones that feel overwhelming. If this time of year brings up challenges, emotions, or stress, reaching out can be the first step toward feeling grounded again. To book your first session, contact us now or book online through our online booking system here.
